Post by Connor on Jun 7, 2020 13:25:09 GMT
The world before me became unsettlingly quiet and a flower started to bloom in front of me. This blooming began to speed up exponentially until it filled my field of view and a guide was born from its growth. I began to have the undeniable feeling that I was on a one way track, like a train moving through a tunnel, toward something that I could never come back from. This guide began to explain what was happening as we began to speed faster and faster along. I was about to see the true nature of reality. Don't worry it said, this was ultimately a creation of an intelligence so far beyond human that I wasn't expected to understand. But I could still bear witness. My brain was being bombarded with information so vast and cosmically meaningful that I felt completely helpless and shocked. It is really hard to relay anything back from this period of the experience but I am positive that it was conveyed that the realm we currently exist in is entwined in an eternally dead state of matter. It felt at first like we were all living within the dead corpse of a god. I then saw this creation as more of an unthinking automaton fulfilling some kind of function. Be it insane and meaningless or at the behest of yet another higher intelligence I did not know. I then became aware that my mind only exists in the context of this insane brutal machine and was suddenly incapable of differentiating between my own mind and the rest of creation. I suddenly was able to experience my own mind as an extra-dimensional construction of infinitely expanding corridors, where I could see feel and experience every moment of my life at the same time, and how each moment related to the next and the next, all the way through different side tangents and onto the present day. This is when the information became psychologically to much to bear and everything exploded into whiteness. I awoke on a floating coffin moving toward a crematorium, with my biological ancestors surrounding me, lecturing me on the folly of the self and the human mind. When I arrived at the fire to be consumed, the dead awaited me. Upon being consumed by flames I was spit out of a vortex back into my living room, which was covered in snow and very cold.
After this is when Gnosis began trickling into my mind. I had what I can only describe as a second conscience inside of me. This voice which was infinitely wise and was rooted in love and empathy for all life. It felt like it was undeniably not of this world. It felt like this place is a dead unforgiving construction. I, a former atheist, was now convinced by the infinite complexity of existential make up I was shown that this realm had to have been constructed. If everything is governed by codes and laws, who wrote these codes and laws? Did they write themselves and if so is that not indicative of a seed intelligence planted by something else? I began to imagine the kind of intelligence it would take to create a place like this had an overbearing sense of an insane and merciless creator. This is when I started to research Gnosticism. I now entertain Manechaeism more than other sects. As far as I think that this world was created by a servant of a higher intelligence for an unknown but probably legitimate reason and not simply out of independent insanity or sadism. Good luck to everyone, I love you all
After this is when Gnosis began trickling into my mind. I had what I can only describe as a second conscience inside of me. This voice which was infinitely wise and was rooted in love and empathy for all life. It felt like it was undeniably not of this world. It felt like this place is a dead unforgiving construction. I, a former atheist, was now convinced by the infinite complexity of existential make up I was shown that this realm had to have been constructed. If everything is governed by codes and laws, who wrote these codes and laws? Did they write themselves and if so is that not indicative of a seed intelligence planted by something else? I began to imagine the kind of intelligence it would take to create a place like this had an overbearing sense of an insane and merciless creator. This is when I started to research Gnosticism. I now entertain Manechaeism more than other sects. As far as I think that this world was created by a servant of a higher intelligence for an unknown but probably legitimate reason and not simply out of independent insanity or sadism. Good luck to everyone, I love you all