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Post by Immanuel on Jan 25, 2021 23:44:00 GMT
Its not everyday that one can hear that someone spoke with Elohim ,if you would like to, could you tell what was it like? Well, at first I wondered if it was for real. There had been so many times I had called out in frustration "I know you exist so why cannot you just talk to me?!" One day they did, even though they spoke in parables constantly, "you have been told albeit cryptically" as they said I had been told when I asked about answers. I was told of a mission, being leader but not "your typical leader". There was so much although I wrote down as much as I could memorize. They appeared disgruntled that I said I do not know who I am, or well I spoke to someone in person who did not ultimately give me their name. It was then I got to understand I was powerful somehow as I was sarcastically told that so powerful and yet does not know who he is. Believe me when I say I am not exactly happy about Elahem and what they do to me. Some days I have thought about practicing my mind so heavily that I would be a world champion in weight lifting of mental weights and start rioting violently like a mental war, that annoyed I am. I suppose they acknowledge my anger as well. Ironically I think they know exactly what they do and try to push me to be angry this way that I push my damned mind harder. I guess that I will thank them later, even more irony. Ah yes, I mentioned that they tried to get me to worship in a traditional religious fashion too, something I did not let myself get tricked into. When I had endured multiple threats, the voice told me I had passed the test. I knew they tried to fool me. Perhaps similar to that Satan in the story of Jesus tempted him to worship by various promises of reward. They demonstrated the language of Aramaic/Arabic as it should sound, that was hilarious to hear spoken as it sounded so different from how that is usually pronounced. Very elaborate. The voice was very emotionless, sharp and formal, but it was pleasant to have the conversation because it had a sense of humor too despite the very unemotional tone, the humor was just very sophisticated. It was then I understood that becoming an Elevated Master was not what I had been thinking in my earlier years before the meeting, you do not have to become a "robot", just more mentally evolved. I mentioned to you that I am angry, but that I have not become except in recent years out of tiredness with life. I am extremely fatigued, but coincidentally this is part of the prophecy too by Isaiah where I am foretold to say "Not only do you tire my body but you tire my very being". I become born from an unmarried woman and I have to discover that I am Immanuel. I have to learn to distinguish right from wrong, and the environment where I grow up is "milk and honey". The two kings is probably the reference to that you cannot serve two masters, when that is no more an issue for me, then I am ready to reject the bad and choose the good. The World around us will be briars and thorns, there will be very harsh times, the current world events testify to what is about to come now, that is just the beginning. USA is beginning to fall apart in a pretty rapid pace, EU has problems and UK left the EU, and China, a totalitarian regime, is let intentionally to be globally powerful, North Korea and Iran get nuclear weapons, and the Corona virus has been set loose as well wreaking havoc. How many indicators do you need to see we are headed towards a greater world conflict? The problems on Earth might turn worse than ever before, our technology will even be the undoing by weapons of mass destruction. My work involves getting the record straight and putting the instruction into the hand of disciples. I have not exactly understood what other use I have besides working on getting the record straight.
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Post by . on Jan 26, 2021 20:28:25 GMT
Yes this is something I wondered upon, I thought at first that in the world "above", everyone is like in a circle, where everyone has a say, and it might be so, but it might be so like you say that is is like a family tree, there is a hierarchy of beings, therefore, for example if a being who is above other beings in the hierarchy decides for something to be a certain way, the beings below in hierarchy cannot rebel. (Even if they could and would rebel, I wonder what would the outcome be?)
Therefore I think Monotheistic religions are right when they say that there is ultimately one God. Because at the top of the hierarchy is One Being, One God. Otherwise there would be chaos isn't it? There is one brain in a body for example, imagine if there were 2-3?
One God, and then there are beings weaker than God, who came into being after God, and it seems that monotheistic religions call them angels.
And here we are, we have our own Being, and there must be a reason we have a Being in the first place. Of course we cannot just think that just because humans posses emotions that this is something that is specifically human, what if we are able to have emotions, not because we are in human-shape, but because we are Being/alive? And thus it is something that able to experience anyone who is Being?
The distinction we should make, is to be Conscious of which emotions are stemming from the human-body and which are truly yours.
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Post by . on Jan 26, 2021 20:34:24 GMT
And I think power has a lot to do with Reality, because as a Being one has a Will, and when One cannot make one Will come true, one suffers, because Reality is not what One wills it to be like.
Being and feeling powerless, not something that One likes. Let`s be real, if reality was exactly according to One`s will, would One feel an injustice, and suffer?
One of the biggest reasons for suffering is that Beings on earth have no real power, and maybe thats why they try to feel powerful by fighting and dominating the man/women next door? But all these conflicts get us nowhere.
Heck, one can feel all powerful, like a King amongst apes, but then One gets cancer, and one sees how not powerful One actually is.
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Post by . on Jan 26, 2021 20:43:58 GMT
That the were Beings who communicated with you and this communication was out of ordinary, is out of ordinary. The fact that you say they were disgruntled that you dont know your true power, is interesting.
Maybe our existence is like a "joke/prank", the fact that One actually buys into this whole charade of being a human, on planet earth. Like for example, one sees a dream that one is a piece of paper and as a piece of paper one sees that it starts raining and one says "oh, no! I am just a piece of paper, If I get wet I will be destroyed :-("
But then when one wakes up from the dream, one asks oneself, how could I buy into idea that Im a piece of paper and thus a rain could destroy me?, and you laugh, he-he.
Just like in the allegory, it might be so with us, we are too absorbed into our role-play of "humans". And actually one needs to become lucid/conscious and see reality.
But do you notice, that all-most never while one is inside the dream, one becomes lucid that one is not a piece of paper, and only after one wakes up from the dream-world entirely one becomes lucid of the fact that one became fooled by the dream world?
Therefore if we are in a dream right now, it might be double the difficulty to become lucid while we are still immersed.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 27, 2021 21:54:35 GMT
There is one thing which must be taken into account, you must not forget about combined mental power, for example two minds which are both weaker alone than someone can together be more powerful.
The record uses Elahem or Elohim for the supernatural however, it indicates plurality saying "Those who are Being" or "Them Being (ones)". Everyone together is Elahem though.
I dislike that we begin to talk about hierarchy because instinctively one may like to relate everything to hierarchy and accept inferiority, letting oneself relinquish the power of the Being. You should act as if you have no master and be a master yourself, without an intention to dominate, for I see it that looking for a master above you is no healthy habit.
Hierarchy or not, Elahem wish to see you excel with no limit on how far. There is no reason for whoever is above you to demonstrate how they are superior to you.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 27, 2021 22:21:30 GMT
Angel is a common translation of a word with root Melaka which means ruler/master/controller. The ultimate goal of humans is to become Melaka, the whole thing is recruitment of angels basically with all the qualification tests involved.
Angel as a word is literally the translation of Na'jil which could indicate messenger or someone sent to expand someone's understanding. The literature called Ena'Jil (Evangelion (the Gospel)) comes from the same root meaning it is meant to expand one's understanding. Perhaps you could say the whole scripture is called "The Expansion". Word angel for Malaika probably come into being through misconception. The word does not mean news or good tidings either but refers to the expansion of something which there was already a foundation for.
Rasul which people tend to claim to mean messenger means instructor. By the way, Jerusalem actually contains the word Rasul in the word, Ye'rasel'em. Old code-like language as always, it indicates "(where you) will be instructed from", it is the linguistic meaning of Je'rusal'em, and why all Jews went there and also enlightened teachers went there to teach. I have sometimes theorized that there is no real fixed geographical location for Jerusalem but anywhere where you had the spiritual school was Jerusalem, back in the ancient days but the word later got misunderstood, similar to that you say university.
You see that ILM was involved in the understanding of it
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 28, 2021 22:11:01 GMT
People dominate because they are instinctively motivated to do so. It is part of the sub/semi-conscious quest to climb up in the hierarchy. People want to be better than others and they look at anything they can be best at and compete.
The human body also appears to like violence, an example is that people watch movies with violence or martial arts matches, the actual scenes of the violence are thrilling. It might be wise to deal this habit.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 28, 2021 23:02:30 GMT
It was more that I did not know who I was as in person, the other side expected me to know my true identity. I definitely know more now than I did back then. However they can most probably read my mind, so any response was more likely a rhetorical, perhaps sarcastic reply, meant to trigger a reaction.
It was not really like I did not already think I was Immanuel, it was the reference to my past life which was disorienting because that part of my memory is suppressed. Obviously I have done something before which held merit to give me this position, it requires me to have been a remarkable person earlier and not only now.
Since then I have managed to receive flashbacks of the past, entirely different imagery and locale, flashbacks which are fairly vivid and disturbing due to the sensation of deja vu. Today my current life is full of different individuals that can bring your thoughts to Jesus and the maniac man with many demons who said he was Legion because "we are many", except that I have the many pieces under absolute control.
Believe me when I say I no longer feel like a person or individual the way I used to. The escape from the instinct is confusing because you need to fill a void left behind, you do initially feel very empty and can be disillusioned, and I know because "I have been there done that". Many times it can feel burdensome because you need to improvise in the company of others as the drive is gone, if you know what I mean. It feels a lot like acting.
The void that you leave behind can cause you to lose endurance, it is important for the sake of the well-being to adapt to this void because it must not be replaced by something, it should just be gone. It might cause you to feel restless, it is what it has done to me and the restlessness caused much of my lack of focus over the past two years when the speed of interpretation of the scripture came down to almost a full stop.
When you lack any form of instinctive motivation you need to strengthen your command over Being or else you might not want to be doing anything at all, it can be easy to just escape from what you must do. This is especially true for me who am extremely tired of living on Earth as well, I tend to seek something which actives my mind to 100% doing nothing productive like running 100% on idle, just to escape the moment. "Not only do you tire my body but you also tire my very being", is my trademark kind of.
That handover from an instinctively motivated being to independent control is a hard and demanding, it can take years to achieve and I write this here in hope that my experiences might help another make the transition in a fraction of this time. I have had no coach, I was my own coach. Like I wrote, perceive the void which you may not realize is your problem and deal with it, and not by escaping into things with no meaning. The void you need to learn to live with because it cannot be replaced by anything but must be kept a void. You need to focus and force yourself to your things which you must do, for example I must FORCE myself to decipher the Record. I have not mentioned that I loathe the difficulty of deciphering it, did I?
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 28, 2021 23:04:27 GMT
It would be easy to label me lazy but when you have no instinctive motivation the motivation must be created from within, so to say.
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Post by . on Jan 29, 2021 10:38:48 GMT
Hello Immanuel.
I think that at the end of the day, what is very important is where ones "heart" is, in other words, what is ones intentions, if they are good and sincere.
What can I say, of what can I "see" is that you intentions are good and you wish good to others.
You explanation of how the well known word/name "Jerusalem" is very interesting, Ill be honest.
As you explain Ye'rasel'em would mean "(where you) will be instructed from".
So I deduce, that "ye" means either where or you, "rasel" means instructor, and "em" means you? In the arabic that is consider as the standard today, would this word have not the same meaning?
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Post by . on Jan 29, 2021 10:39:58 GMT
Yes violence is something that humanity gets thrilled by and excited by, but we have to stop and reflect "why?" in the first place are we getting excited for violence?
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Post by . on Jan 29, 2021 11:00:29 GMT
Yes, it seems that even though we like to consider ourselves as one-unit, as persons. There seems to be something more complex going on. I can testify with people I know personally, that sometimes the way they act is as if there are multiple persons in one body so to speak, and no they dont have multiple personality disorder, but there can inconsistencies with their Being.
There is also the thought experiment, if person A would get erased all of his memories and would be replaced with the memories of person B, will person A act and behave like person B would? In other words, what we call "identity" is it only a collection of memories? Interesting question.
To be able to follow along our conversation, I have to ask you if you could/would like to clarify this please? : "today my current life is full of different individuals that can bring your thoughts to Jesus and the maniac man with many demons who said he was Legion because "we are many", except that I have the many pieces under absolute control."
Yes I think I understand what you mean. When one loses one`s instinctual motivations which were the "fuel" for ones actions in this world. Then one is left feeling like one does not have "fuel", aka. motivation to things in this world.
But that would mean that one can ONLY get motivated by instinctual-motivations, but that ISNT so, isnt true? I mean, One has oneself, and one can get motivation by ones own desires in life. Arent we something more than the body?
These days, when I really start to ponder about things, I realize how actually "lucky" one is to exist, yes existence can be awesome and sad at the same time, but for One to exist is magic in itself.
And this gives me an understanding that there is a good reason for our existence, each of us. If it wasnt so we would exist in the first place, it is that simple. If we are Beings whoa are not biological in our true origin, but we are superficially connected to these limited/biological bodies, this means that the limits of the bodies, should not limit our Minds at all, likewise, for an Rocket to have bycicle-wheels should not limit the Rocket to not fly and just drive on the ground.
Its like in that story with the Eagle baby, that was raised amongst chicken, and would always get jelous of the birds flying above the chicken-farm, because it lived its whole life amongst chicken it never got to understand that it could actually fly unlike its chicken family, but the tragedy was that the eagle never realized that it wasnt a chicken but was an eagle all this time.
At the end of the day, all things seem impossible until someone does it.
So if it takes Someone to do the "impossiible", then it means that it takes to be Someone first.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 30, 2021 20:08:07 GMT
Hello Immanuel. I think that at the end of the day, what is very important is where ones "heart" is, in other words, what is ones intentions, if they are good and sincere. What can I say, of what can I "see" is that you intentions are good and you wish good to others. Selfless intentions it is, I have absolutely no gain from my presence on the forum besides those times when someone says something clever which also happens. The project of deciphering the Manifestation (Quran) on the other hand does occasionally make me understand more things concerning the nature of our existence and it does indirectly benefit others, my teaching is based on its pedagogy. I have already decided that no part of my teaching will ever render me with any profits or "personal benefits". You explanation of how the well known word/name "Jerusalem" is very interesting, Ill be honest. As you explain Ye'rasel'em would mean "(where you) will be instructed from". So I deduce, that "ye" means either where or you, "rasel" means instructor, and "em" means you? In the arabic that is consider as the standard today, would this word have not the same meaning? "Where you" is within parentheses, in my project nothing within parenthesis is in the original Arabic text but occasionally added for the sake of readability. Ye ى in a prefix marks the result outcome of an action, i.e. "will be". That Ye means "will" is a relatively newfound discovery of mine but it helps in situations like with the word Ye'Rasil'am which received a better light on it in the advent of the discovery. The Meem م I already knew it is "thereof/of" for its innate meaning. With their ILM together it is easy to see the meaning of the full word, which uses the root Ra-Siin-Lam, "will instruct thereof/therefrom". It might be obvious a potential meaning is an ancient form of saying "location of learning", it could indicate it is not necessarily a fixed location but could be used for the purpose of reference. However, the word does appear unique meaning it is a form of proper noun, but that does not necessarily mean there must be one Ye'Rasil'am only. Either way, it connotes function in itself, it is obvious for a native speaker in ancient times what you referred to when you mentioned it. The wise men of ancient times knew that you never make anything concrete and so most Semitic words, including Arabic, are abstract in their meaning and so any person who is too worldly may misinterpret the language when trying to understand it. A good example is the word Nur نور which root meaning is referring to something which cannot be seen but its visual manifestation appears as light in varying styles. Worldly interpreters cannot understand it innately does not speak of anything which can be observed on Earth but the phenomenon which can be observed in the world is called light. Funny thing is the same root is used for both light and fire, but you can say that it most accurately refer to any form of energy which cannot be observed visually either, just try to look at electricity wandering inside a cable even if you remove the protective layer, but if you short-circuit the cable you sure will observe lightning. The ultimate truth is that Nur is whatever "matter" the universe is constructed from, giving shape to things physically inside the world we know of. I think human science and Quantum Mechanics is starting to get to the truth actually when they "reach the light", it is really the Nuur they observe.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 30, 2021 20:10:40 GMT
Yes violence is something that humanity gets thrilled by and excited by, but we have to stop and reflect "why?" in the first place are we getting excited for violence? Yes, and the simple answer is the instinctive motivation. The human as an animal is a pretty violent one actually, pretty much like many other animals on Earth, but the human is quite dangerous in association with a disoriented mind.
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 30, 2021 20:47:38 GMT
Yes, it seems that even though we like to consider ourselves as one-unit, as persons. There seems to be something more complex going on. I can testify with people I know personally, that sometimes the way they act is as if there are multiple persons in one body so to speak, and no they dont have multiple personality disorder, but there can inconsistencies with their Being. Many people likely exhibit the features of their past without them consciously knowing about it. There is also the thought experiment, if person A would get erased all of his memories and would be replaced with the memories of person B, will person A act and behave like person B would? In other words, what we call "identity" is it only a collection of memories? Interesting question. It is pretty complex because the human consists of both body and mind. The body with its brain has the capacity of collecting memories and data overall, but that gives imprints on the mind which do not cease to exist regardless if the person dies with their body i.e. the spirit leaves the body. Hence you will suffer the consequences of your past actions in a future life, not only because you are born in a bad place but also through having "mental issues". You are probably born as a person with a lower IQ. And as to answer your question, yes Person A would act like person B, depending on if you mean a mind-level replacement or on body level. If Person A receives the brain image of person B but retains who they are mentally, will probably have a great deal of mental issues with themselves. It is also possible for the body to start refusing to accept mind input if there is brain damage and hence making the person enter into psychosis where they can only observe the body doing things like in a dream but it is not them doing it mentally. The mind is actually an "intruder" on the animal Homo sapiens being in possession of it and it is possible to release the command over it. This is probably pretty deep for you, I understand. Without the mind, Homo sapiens as a species would be more primitive. To be able to follow along our conversation, I have to ask you if you could/would like to clarify this please? : "today my current life is full of different individuals that can bring your thoughts to Jesus and the maniac man with many demons who said he was Legion because "we are many", except that I have the many pieces under absolute control." Yes I think I understand what you mean. When one loses one`s instinctual motivations which were the "fuel" for ones actions in this world. Then one is left feeling like one does not have "fuel", aka. motivation to things in this world. What I referred to was if you can through discipline force the barrier, which keeps you from accessing your full history, to cause it to fall. Mental illness, as in the case of the Legion-person, can also cause the phenomenon with grave consequences, if the person by no means got the mental power to handle it. What Jesus may have done is to put the barrier up again for the person, is my hypothesis, since Jesus appeared to have full mental powers akin to the "sixth sense" but on the full spectrum, those wielded by Elahem beyond this world. I doubt even Jesus could make the person evolve to the extent of handling multiple personalities, that appears be a limit of the whole existence as it works by nature, nothing can evolve for real by forcing it to evolve, the so-called natural evolution in the universe is just an illusionary evolution, it is just Elahem manifesting themselves to "simulate an existence", but no one's Being can be evolved by another entity. I am who I was and who I am, the one I have been all the time, all combined. I know my limitations and what I have to work on. I have strong vivid memory fragments of a specific person who lived in quite ancient times in a desert locale and who was a high-ranking citizen of that society, and it does color my present, sometimes in bad ways. I was a thinker much like I am today. Apparently I was reborn to attain a prophetic role today even though I have no desire for it, I do not even like people in general nor do I have any desire to be famous (although any person claiming to be prophet and desiring this is a false prophet). I was never much clouded by instinctive motivation, in fact I was pretty lost in my younger days because I felt I never "fit in" and I had no drive to pursue any dreams like most young people do. I have always preferred to just think rather than do things. A big thing is that I "have never truly wanted anything".
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 30, 2021 21:07:43 GMT
But that would mean that one can ONLY get motivated by instinctual-motivations, but that ISNT so, isnt true? I mean, One has oneself, and one can get motivation by ones own desires in life. Arent we something more than the body? Now you jump to conclusions. When your Being is begotten and grows, and the instinctive part of you gets diminished, you experience a phenomenon which I referred to as feeling just an empty void where your instinct had its place in your life giving automated (instinctive) motivation. When the comfort of the automated direction is gone it requires more mental effort from your side to get anything done in the world because the instinctive reward via bodily fluids (hormones) in the brain cease to have any effect as you lose the vision of any goal. This threshold can be really hard to get past and to accumulate mental drive without the driving of the instinct in the back. I am speaking of own experience because I deal with the issue on a daily basis now, to take over after you are left with an empty void is not easy, it is almost like becoming a young child again and trying to learn to take your very first steps. Yes, now that was an extreme metaphor and I obviously referred to the mental part obviously. In ways it feels as if I died some years ago and was begotten as another while in the same body still, still knowing what it did and still possessing the same talents. Meanwhile I got a more open relationship to my past lives. These days, when I really start to ponder about things, I realize how actually "lucky" one is to exist, yes existence can be awesome and sad at the same time, but for One to exist is magic in itself. I would not suffer if I would have never existed so I do not see the luckiness the way your described it. Or do you refer to one as a sleeping being which has not awakened yet? In that case I am glad that I managed to evolve into independent consciousness because living in lifelessness is a living hell. I do feel sorry for every individual on Earth who does not understand the way we do. And this gives me an understanding that there is a good reason for our existence, each of us. If it wasnt so we would exist in the first place, it is that simple. If we are Beings whoa are not biological in our true origin, but we are superficially connected to these limited/biological bodies, this means that the limits of the bodies, should not limit our Minds at all, likewise, for an Rocket to have bycicle-wheels should not limit the Rocket to not fly and just drive on the ground. The bodies are like our soil in which our spirit seeds must grow. The instincts and the world are like the weeds which seek to choke the seedling.
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Post by . on Jan 31, 2021 8:48:40 GMT
(Apologize if I assumed something about You that is not true, I am trying to understand the situation you are presenting ) I think I understand better now of what You are speaking of: Before your-mind was "helped" by the instincts, "telling it/giving it motivation" to do this and that, but now that You diminished the power of the instinctual signals on your mind, now You actually have to be creative and through your own will, "force" your body do this and that. It makes sense. I imagine is somewhat like biking with two extra wheels on the back wheel, and now they are suddenly gone, so one have to put much extra effort oneself, in order to bike the same bike. The reality being that people around you are most probably occupied by instinctual goals also doesn't help the situation and it might feel lonely (one can still know people, but still be lonely if one cannot be oneself with others) Therefore, I think in such cases, one should just be very sincere with ones own Self, and ask one Self, "What do I want to do? I have this life, I am still alive in this world, what would I like to do?" In a way, if everyone around oneself also had instinct under control, then most probably it would have been easier and feel more fulfilling to be Conscious in this world. However, we do always have ourselves even when one is "alone". It seems like people fear loneliness so much, because people are afraid of being face to face with their own minds. Maybe thats why, people try to distract their attentions outwards, be it, music, movies, games, etc., anything to not be alone with ones own thoughts/mind. When You say how it sometimes feels for Yourself how you already died sometime in the past in your current life, and now it is as if you were born again and now how to actually "start-over" with life. I actually had the same realization with myself, relatively recently, when I started to think about myself from a couple of years ago, it didn't feel any-longer as if I am thinking about myself, but it felt like I was recollecting memories about another person. As a consequence, these days I also "act" the personality that people associate me with, mostly because I dont want to "hurt" peoples feelings, make them weirded out why I am "no-longer-me" and I have no interest in proving others that "I evolved" or anything of this sorts, so i just let people feel normal. Personality is an interesting thing, actually for a fully Conscious Being it should be possible to "emulate/act-out" any personality type possible isnt it so? Why limit oneself with one personality? I think people usually limit themselves with one personality, because people like consistency in information and like to generalize things. It is easier for one to think "oh, here goes the funny French guy, and there goes the serious Buddhist girl, etc." Dont you notice how people usually make a "caricature" of others and also present themselves also as a caricature? Therefore, I already "gave-up" the idea/quest that people will see me for who I am and not just limit me into some pre-established identities/caricatures. Heck, if one dresses a certain way people already have a great deal of "bias" and make up their mind of "who-you-are". I dont blame people, it is mostly due to the limitations of our bodies`senses, peoples minds` computational abilities, and the fact that it is easier/more-efficient to understand reality and people inside it in stereotypical "images".
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Post by Immanuel on Jan 31, 2021 12:33:35 GMT
(Apologize if I assumed something about You that is not true, I am trying to understand the situation you are presenting ) I think I understand better now of what You are speaking of: Before your-mind was "helped" by the instincts, "telling it/giving it motivation" to do this and that, but now that You diminished the power of the instinctual signals on your mind, now You actually have to be creative and through your own will, "force" your body do this and that. It makes sense. I imagine is somewhat like biking with two extra wheels on the back wheel, and now they are suddenly gone, so one have to put much extra effort oneself, in order to bike the same bike. The reality being that people around you are most probably occupied by instinctual goals also doesn't help the situation and it might feel lonely (one can still know people, but still be lonely if one cannot be oneself with others) Therefore, I think in such cases, one should just be very sincere with ones own Self, and ask one Self, "What do I want to do? I have this life, I am still alive in this world, what would I like to do?" In a way, if everyone around oneself also had instinct under control, then most probably it would have been easier and feel more fulfilling to be Conscious in this world. However, we do always have ourselves even when one is "alone". It seems like people fear loneliness so much, because people are afraid of being face to face with their own minds. Maybe thats why, people try to distract their attentions outwards, be it, music, movies, games, etc., anything to not be alone with ones own thoughts/mind. I prefer to be lonely if I can and if I am in company of others I appreciate if the time is spent in such a way that we do not do menial things but what I like most is some intelligent discussion. I would be able to live for months in isolation without people around me and have no problem with that, but it helps that people overall annoy me by their mere presence. It is also alienating to feel as if you were another race due to your elevated consciousness because you cannot really relate to others, in fact I can more or less not relate to a single person on Earth who I have met in person. It means I have already been forced to adapt over many years and I am used to it so there is nothing to feel sorry about regarding me, I have adapted already and do not suffer much in isolation. When I get in contact with people on this forum it gives me hope when I notice that they have evolved, but I require no physical nearness to people. Humans who are still instinctive will suffer greatly in isolation, Homo sapiens is a social animal and to function they require groups. The Covid-19 virus reveals the effect if people are required to isolate themselves, people get mentally ill and who knows what, and the virus spreads because people retain their vain habits of hugging and kissing and being near each other instead of naturally keeping a distance between them which would logical when we live in a world of diseases, diseases that would not have to exist but exist because the creator wanted it, and the logical response for a conscious being would be to always keep distance to others. People also contract the diseases because they do not have a healthy diet including making sure they get the right dosage of vitamins and minerals, Covid-19 can be counteracted by making sure that Vitamin-D and Vitamin-C levels are adequate plus having a steady intake of Zink which is anti-oxidizing. I get sick about once every 5 years and usually it is a mild infection which the built-in immune defense system takes care of relatively fast and I have had a job which involves meeting many people on a daily basis. Before I got knowledgeable about making sure that the vitamin and mineral levels are adequate I got sick far more often. I also have a technique of boosting my Zink intake if I experience symptoms of any disease several times which usually works during the incubation time to beat the disease. However, always keep intake of Vitamin-D and Vitamin-C on prescribed levels, an increase dosage of those have no additional protective effect and cause intoxication, it is only Zink which may add additional protection but also there keep prescribed levels unless you need a therapeutic dose. Plus remember that food itself contains the substances so calculate everything including that. For us living in northern countries during winter it is even mandatory to complement the Vitamin-D intake even if you have a healthy diet, because the sun does not offer us enough Vitamin-D generation whereas in the summer 15 minutes of exposure gives the daily requirement (why did my ancestors even settle as far north as Scandinavia?). The things mentioned above is not my opinion but there is research supporting the statements. When You say how it sometimes feels for Yourself how you already died sometime in the past in your current life, and now it is as if you were born again and now how to actually "start-over" with life. I actually had the same realization with myself, relatively recently, when I started to think about myself from a couple of years ago, it didn't feel any-longer as if I am thinking about myself, but it felt like I was recollecting memories about another person. As a consequence, these days I also "act" the personality that people associate me with, mostly because I dont want to "hurt" peoples feelings, make them weirded out why I am "no-longer-me" and I have no interest in proving others that "I evolved" or anything of this sorts, so i just let people feel normal. As the years have passed I have less and less pretended that I am my old self in front of others. But I do not explain my behavior to them because I judge there is nothing to explain that they can understand. I still meet with family on occasion, and I try to do things the way they are expected to the extent I feel comfortable. It is difficult to maintain the charade though, for example if my mother comes on a visit for multiple days. Personality is an interesting thing, actually for a fully Conscious Being it should be possible to "emulate/act-out" any personality type possible isnt it so? Why limit oneself with one personality? I think people usually limit themselves with one personality, because people like consistency in information and like to generalize things. It is easier for one to think "oh, here goes the funny French guy, and there goes the serious Buddhist girl, etc." Dont you notice how people usually make a "caricature" of others and also present themselves also as a caricature? Therefore, I already "gave-up" the idea/quest that people will see me for who I am and not just limit me into some pre-established identities/caricatures. Heck, if one dresses a certain way people already have a great deal of "bias" and make up their mind of "who-you-are". I dont blame people, it is mostly due to the limitations of our bodies`senses, peoples minds` computational abilities, and the fact that it is easier/more-efficient to understand reality and people inside it in stereotypical "images". I have no fixed personality because I am a mix of the imprints of multiple bodies, and even that has been problematic to adapt to. The disorientation that I have suffered because I lost my unique personality is similar to that of the void I wrote about. The result is that you lose your identity so that you feel you are no one at all that you know anymore. To not have any derivative fixed personality or instinctive motivation is adding the requirement to "play" someone in your ordinary life, a bit like who you choose to be in a role-playing game, but it also forces you to become more creative and conscious. How am I to "play" Immanuel for example? The constant acting to be someone is just tiresome actually but to keep "an appealing face" towards humans is more or less required.
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